Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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