I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
