I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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