I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
and you fell through a lawn chair
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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