the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
