so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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