dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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