I wish I only lived at night.
there's paper in my vomit.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
