i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
