? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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