we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize