Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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