Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
