Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
