Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
