Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
