First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
