Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize