They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
