My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
