remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
