the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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