i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize