Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
