But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
