you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
