Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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