i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
