Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My penis needs a shock collar
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
