you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
