I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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