just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Damn victory sex feels great
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize