My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
