My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
