i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
