Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she told me i tasted like america
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
