i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
