you would pick up someone in the library
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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