I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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