these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
