Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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