He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
