can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
