Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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