out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
