office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
