he thought i was a dude.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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