just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
