Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
