ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
