Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
