I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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