Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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