Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Everclear isn't food dammit
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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