it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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