you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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