miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
